Let's go..

10th April 2011 Weight with jeans and a t-shirt in the middle of the day is: 83.3kg Breakfast: I woke up and wasn't starving like I normally am so made myself a cup of tea and checked email and facebook. Gary woke up and asked me if I wanted pancakes for breakfast and that sounded very appealing so I said yes. The pancakes were delicious with lots of maple syrup and I was very good and ate at the table with the tv on in the background but it wasn't distracting. I only ate two and felt satisfied without being full so the first meal on my new plan can be deemed a success :) It is Sunday morning so I am feeling calm and relaxed and ready to start the day. 11.30am - Feeling a little bit hungry but am waiting until it becomes a bit more insistent.. the hardest thing is deciding what to eat! I can go with something bad for me or an orange, at this stage my body isn't telling me what I really want so am not hungry enough maybe? Am waiting for inspiration... 11.55am - Was thinking about what to eat too much and thought that can't be good as that defeats the purpose of obsessing about food! So grabbed a bit of kabana and cheese (about 4 pieces of each) and finished with a wagon wheel. Don't feel too full and am still in a pretty cruisy mood so don't think it is emotional eating. It feels weird to sit at the table by myself and eat snack foods but you do really focus on what you are doing.. 12.54pm - I feel a bit yucky and my first instinct is to eat something.. interesting, I am listening to my body and I am not hungry so have sat down and had some water and am going to relax for a while and see if it passes.. 1.38pm - feeling a bit hungry.. but like Geneen says you are either hungry or you are not, it is a bit like being in love if you think you might be you are not (paraphrasing!) 1.42pm - really craving chips and I want to eat them while watching tv.. cannot think what possible emotion is behind it so maybe I can have it (am hungry!) will wait a few minutes and see if it passes... 1.46pm - am thinking I might be wanting to reward myself but have definate hunger pains on a scale of 1 - 10 am probably at a 4/5 1.53pm - going to eat chips while watching tv and try and be mindful at the same time! 2.13pm - Chips were yummy but think I ate too many, am feeling full but not uncomfortable and am not feeling guilty so all good, blogging every aspect of my eating is very weird but also helps keep me accountable! 2.42pm - Had a mini chocolate bar, I wanted it as a reward for cleaning the kitchen.. hmm Gary made popcorn so had to eat some, feeling slightly uncomfortable.. think I have been rebelling today because I am making it like a diet with too many restrictions.. so for the next week I am going to eat when I feel like it and analyse it and hopefully something will 9.24pm - complete fail.. had a binge session tonight.. am trying to figure out why but think I know it is because I hate feeling deprived... must work on that notion..